Monday, November 26, 2012

Honestly?

Honestly, I'm tired. Honestly, I'm at my wits end. Honestly, I'm at a loss and am ready to admit that I need HELP.

Everyone knows that I love my oldest child with everything I have. I would easily and without hesitation lay my life down for his. No question. In a second. Because I am his mother and I love him in that way only a parent can understand.

That doesn't mean raising him is easy. It doesn't mean that most days I look forward to bed time because his constant defiance/willfullness can end for the day...except the hour it takes for him to finally go to sleep!

Now I know that some of this is my fault. Our fault. We've created a situation where Ethan doesn't believe we'll follow through. It's not necessarily that we don't; it's that sometimes we go too far and we don't. Take for instance Saturday. He wouldn't get his shoes on. He wouldn't listen to anything, really, and so I said, "If you don't get your shoes on, we're aren't going." It was my last straw.

Only Clint wasn't on board with that. And so after about 30 minutes, we went.

And so my word means nothing.

Ethan is on overdrive all the time. All.The.Time. He also questions authority all the time. He also refuses to do anything the first time he is asked. He also doesn't believe we'll follow through on consequences. These things all lead to a very bad, very stressful place. A place I usually want to run from. FAST.

And so I'm thankful to start behavioral therapy. I'm hoping that it will force my husband to take some time to really talk through things. Because his solution is "let me spank him." I can't do that. I know there are other ways. And I know Ethan. It won't last long before he's over it. When I ask, "Fine. What consequence would you propose?" He never answers. Because he doesn't have a clue either. It's so frustrating not to be on the same page. And by the time the kids go to bed, he doesn't want to talk about it. It's so late and we're so tired and there's so little time.

I'm at a loss. The only thing I really know is that things cannot go on like this!

4 comments:

  1. Those little stinkers never forget that there was that one time you didn't follow through on consequences and they shoot for a repeat. They're so stubborn. I hope the therapy really makes a difference for you. :)

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  2. Sorry you are so tired love! *hugs*

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  3. It sounds like you need help. I don't think spanking would be good for Ethan. He needs consequences and he needs you to follow through with what you say. You and Clint have to be on the same page. He is too smart and can get away with a lot. He will test you and if you don't pass he knows it and will continue to defy you. That is what Hayden does. We have done well with him to "pass" his tests. But he still tests and we still have to pass. That is his nature - to test. It seems like that is in Ethan's nature too. I think they are very similar (although I think your little man is smarter than mine - I'm not saying that in a mean or condescending way to my son... but it seems like Ethan is SUPER smart).

    Anywho, all that to say. Good luck. I hope you are able to figure something out because I bet the situation really sucks sometimes and can be very stressful, frustrating, and annoying.

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  4. My husband and I were never on the same page when it came to discipline. My parents never punished me and his father was extremely strict. I am praying that the therapy will help all of you.

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