My hands are starting to crack. I put hand sanitizer on them this morning and felt like I'd just poured salt in a gaping wound. If I didn't know better, I'd say I've caught Dylan's Eczema on the backs of my hands. The redness is gripping.
Water, soap, scrub, rinse. Water, soap, scrub, rinse. I've done this over fifty times a day since Monday morning, and it's taking it's toll. And, yes, I've lotioned up, but my hands are taking a beating. I have thought, as I can feel my skin disintegrating, about people with OCD that HAVE to wash their hands hundreds of times. It must be so painful! And then I say, "just two weeks."
We have been struck and the ripple has yet to occur. Monday morning, the very second I walked into work, my phone rang. Preschool. Any Momma with kids in school know that a call from them is NEVER a good sign. It's something to be dreaded. And dread I did. He'd thrown up. All over the table. He was sick. So without even taking off my coat, I turned around and high-tailed it back to preschool to pick up my sick and ailing child.
He never threw up again. He had two bouts of the yucky poops that day. And one at 4:30 in the morning.....all over his sheets. I told him it was okay. He was sick. He said, "Yeah, it's the sickness's fault, not mine. My white blood cells are fighting." Yes, yes, they are. And doing a damn good job.
He stayed home yesterday....they don't like poopies at preschool either. But he was fine. He slept more than usual (not much more). He ate just fine both days. He never ran a fever and never wanted to lay on the couch snuggling. His white blood cells were kicking butt.
Because that's how Ethan rolls.
But that doesn't mean we all take it in stride like my oldest. He is notorious for having a relatively mild illness that hits us like a freight train. And so I've become incredibly cautious. The Lysol comes out. The soap dispensers are checked. Sanitizer is available. Hand washing takes on a life of it's own. Every thing he touches makes me cringe and it's just one more time I have to wash my hands....because he's touched it all and I can't follow him around with a can of Lysol.
The goal? Make it till Thursday. If I can make it through Thursday, then I should be in the clear. Until then, I'm scrubbing the skin right off my knuckles. I'm eating nothing but oatmeal and soup. I'm taking a probiotic and elderberry juice. I'm keeping Dylan AWAY from his brother who seems intent on getting in his face. I'm avoiding the slightest touch from my husband, who is much less cautious than I am and usually comes down with whatever illness crosses the threshold. I'm being diligent, and I'm hoping it pays off. Because there's little I dread more than throwing up uncontrollably for hours! Other than having to nurse a baby between it all!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Honestly?
Honestly, I'm tired. Honestly, I'm at my wits end. Honestly, I'm at a loss and am ready to admit that I need HELP.
Everyone knows that I love my oldest child with everything I have. I would easily and without hesitation lay my life down for his. No question. In a second. Because I am his mother and I love him in that way only a parent can understand.
That doesn't mean raising him is easy. It doesn't mean that most days I look forward to bed time because his constant defiance/willfullness can end for the day...except the hour it takes for him to finally go to sleep!
Now I know that some of this is my fault. Our fault. We've created a situation where Ethan doesn't believe we'll follow through. It's not necessarily that we don't; it's that sometimes we go too far and we don't. Take for instance Saturday. He wouldn't get his shoes on. He wouldn't listen to anything, really, and so I said, "If you don't get your shoes on, we're aren't going." It was my last straw.
Only Clint wasn't on board with that. And so after about 30 minutes, we went.
And so my word means nothing.
Ethan is on overdrive all the time. All.The.Time. He also questions authority all the time. He also refuses to do anything the first time he is asked. He also doesn't believe we'll follow through on consequences. These things all lead to a very bad, very stressful place. A place I usually want to run from. FAST.
And so I'm thankful to start behavioral therapy. I'm hoping that it will force my husband to take some time to really talk through things. Because his solution is "let me spank him." I can't do that. I know there are other ways. And I know Ethan. It won't last long before he's over it. When I ask, "Fine. What consequence would you propose?" He never answers. Because he doesn't have a clue either. It's so frustrating not to be on the same page. And by the time the kids go to bed, he doesn't want to talk about it. It's so late and we're so tired and there's so little time.
I'm at a loss. The only thing I really know is that things cannot go on like this!
Everyone knows that I love my oldest child with everything I have. I would easily and without hesitation lay my life down for his. No question. In a second. Because I am his mother and I love him in that way only a parent can understand.
That doesn't mean raising him is easy. It doesn't mean that most days I look forward to bed time because his constant defiance/willfullness can end for the day...except the hour it takes for him to finally go to sleep!
Now I know that some of this is my fault. Our fault. We've created a situation where Ethan doesn't believe we'll follow through. It's not necessarily that we don't; it's that sometimes we go too far and we don't. Take for instance Saturday. He wouldn't get his shoes on. He wouldn't listen to anything, really, and so I said, "If you don't get your shoes on, we're aren't going." It was my last straw.
Only Clint wasn't on board with that. And so after about 30 minutes, we went.
And so my word means nothing.
Ethan is on overdrive all the time. All.The.Time. He also questions authority all the time. He also refuses to do anything the first time he is asked. He also doesn't believe we'll follow through on consequences. These things all lead to a very bad, very stressful place. A place I usually want to run from. FAST.
And so I'm thankful to start behavioral therapy. I'm hoping that it will force my husband to take some time to really talk through things. Because his solution is "let me spank him." I can't do that. I know there are other ways. And I know Ethan. It won't last long before he's over it. When I ask, "Fine. What consequence would you propose?" He never answers. Because he doesn't have a clue either. It's so frustrating not to be on the same page. And by the time the kids go to bed, he doesn't want to talk about it. It's so late and we're so tired and there's so little time.
I'm at a loss. The only thing I really know is that things cannot go on like this!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Results Are In...
I'm going to be very careful with this post because I know that someday Ethan will read this and I want to make sure he understands why we did this and what we gained from doing it.
I chose to have Ethan IQ tested for a few reasons. First, he needs someone to be able to advocate for him, and that someone has to be his parents. He was moved into Pre-K at age three. He won't begin Kindergarten until he's nearly six. He can already do the work. What does that mean for next year when he has to repeat Pre-K? They have already said that he's learning how to work at the other kids' level. That's not what I want him to do. I want him to work at HIS level. As any parent would.
I don't know if you've ever received or ever given "the look." I have received it. And it doesn't feel good. It goes something like this. My dissertation chair is also the principal at one of the elementary schools in our school district. So I was talking to her about Ethan and my fears about kindergarten, and she gave me the, "oh-you're-one-of-those-parents-that-thinks-her-kid's-a-genius" look. The one that says, "all parents think their children are smart. Do I really have to have this conversation." She placated me with some nonsense about how kindergarten is set up to meet the needs of all kids. Problem is what happens when academically the child DOES already know everything and realizes that he already knows everything? That's not the same as saying he's socially ahead because Ethan is anything but that. But she certainly wasn't giving me any indication of how they could meet his needs. Because to her, as I have been to any one I've talked to, I'm just another overly-involved Mom that thinks her kid is brilliant. So I need to prove it.
Second, Ethan is not a typical child. A book I'm reading says, "Can you imagine having Jim Carrey, Whoopi Goldberg, and Robin Williams---intense, verbally expressive stand-up comedians---as children and all in the same third-grade classroom or at the same dinner table...this is what these children are like." And that is what Ethan is like. You see he falls into the psychomotor oversensitivity. Activity isn't an option or a choice. It is a REAL NEED for him. He needs to be active from the time his feet hit the floor until the time they go back to bed. His preschool has said, "How are you not exhausted all the time? He's exhausting." They're in the business of kids and he exhausts them! They love him. They're enthralled by him. They're fascinated by the way his mind works, but he's also so exhausting because he's on ALL THE TIME. And the thing, if I say that to people, they say, "Oh yeah, all kids are. They have so much energy." Re-read the bit about the three comedians. That's my life ALL THE TIME. I can't describe in a way that people understand the intensity of this child. I just can't. You have to live it, and it's not easy. It's not.
There are days when I want to throw my hands in the air and say, "I just can't do this." There are moments when I know that I will fail him. I'm constantly struggling to figure out how to raise him. And so doing this provided me with the knowledge that I am not crazy. I was right. The kid is wicked smart and the kid is high-energy, active needs. He really doesn't shut down. He really doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of us. He really is normal for who Ethan is. There's nothing wrong with him. He just doesn't fit into the confines of a "normal child," but he is quite normal.
While he's still, and will continue to be, quite the challenge, I find myself relieved because now I know for sure what's going on and now I have access to resources that can help us raise him and help him grow. We can support his needs better and ensure that he has the opportunities he needs to express his energy and his uniqueness and his unending drive.
You see, Ethan may be a challenge, but Ethan is so much more than that. He's enigmatic. He's inspiring. He's full of life and energy and most people are enthralled by him. People are drawn to him. He magnetizing. He's sweet, he's loving, he's all these millions of wonderful things and he's--most of the time--a pleasure to be around. He's FUN. And I adore this child. I truly adore him. And conversation with are GREAT. And I want to make sure that he doesn't lose who he is through the system. Because the system---let's be honest---likes conformity. And I do not want him to conform at the detriment of who he is. Period.
Ethan scored high. He scored gifted. We're not telling him that. And we didn't tell him we were testing his IQ. We didn't tell him it was a test at all. He doesn't need to know. He'll figure it all out on his own, I'm sure. But for now, nothing changes for him....sort of.
We are going to go through about five behavioral sessions because he needs to learn a few things. Such as following directions instead telling you what the directions SHOULD be. Learning that sometimes even if he knows something, others may want to see it. He tends to tell people he already knows how to do it, so he doesn't have to. This is called arrogance and is common. He needs to learn how to be more empathetic. And also how to direct his energies. And Mom and Dad need to learn ways of helping him acquire these skills. We need to learn discipline techniques that might help us.
We also have to change a few other things. Instead of an 8:00 p.m. bedtime, we're moving to 9:00 p.m. bedtime. We're looking into Tae Kwon Do, which is good for kids like Ethan because it teaches teamwork, self-discipline, and structure. We will be instituting a new token system that will hopefully help him learn a little discipline at home as well.
He is a very bright, very energetic, very GREAT kid. He just needs more structure. And the way I see it, we need help, too. Why? Because you don't raise kids with developmental struggles the same way you raise average children. So you don't raise gifted kids the same way you raise average children either.
I am excited and nervous about this journey with my oldest. I am excited to watch him grow and to see his brain work. He's an amazing child. I'm nervous that I won't be able to advocate strongly enough for him. That I won't be able to aid in his growth. That I'll miss the opportunity to ensure his needs are met. I want him to be a well-rounded child, teen, and adult. I want my expectations to be realistic. He's smart, but he's still four. He's still a kid and he still needs to play like a kid and act like a kid and be a kid. And I have to foster that as well. And so I'll leave with two "Ethanisms" that show his age:
I chose to have Ethan IQ tested for a few reasons. First, he needs someone to be able to advocate for him, and that someone has to be his parents. He was moved into Pre-K at age three. He won't begin Kindergarten until he's nearly six. He can already do the work. What does that mean for next year when he has to repeat Pre-K? They have already said that he's learning how to work at the other kids' level. That's not what I want him to do. I want him to work at HIS level. As any parent would.
I don't know if you've ever received or ever given "the look." I have received it. And it doesn't feel good. It goes something like this. My dissertation chair is also the principal at one of the elementary schools in our school district. So I was talking to her about Ethan and my fears about kindergarten, and she gave me the, "oh-you're-one-of-those-parents-that-thinks-her-kid's-a-genius" look. The one that says, "all parents think their children are smart. Do I really have to have this conversation." She placated me with some nonsense about how kindergarten is set up to meet the needs of all kids. Problem is what happens when academically the child DOES already know everything and realizes that he already knows everything? That's not the same as saying he's socially ahead because Ethan is anything but that. But she certainly wasn't giving me any indication of how they could meet his needs. Because to her, as I have been to any one I've talked to, I'm just another overly-involved Mom that thinks her kid is brilliant. So I need to prove it.
Second, Ethan is not a typical child. A book I'm reading says, "Can you imagine having Jim Carrey, Whoopi Goldberg, and Robin Williams---intense, verbally expressive stand-up comedians---as children and all in the same third-grade classroom or at the same dinner table...this is what these children are like." And that is what Ethan is like. You see he falls into the psychomotor oversensitivity. Activity isn't an option or a choice. It is a REAL NEED for him. He needs to be active from the time his feet hit the floor until the time they go back to bed. His preschool has said, "How are you not exhausted all the time? He's exhausting." They're in the business of kids and he exhausts them! They love him. They're enthralled by him. They're fascinated by the way his mind works, but he's also so exhausting because he's on ALL THE TIME. And the thing, if I say that to people, they say, "Oh yeah, all kids are. They have so much energy." Re-read the bit about the three comedians. That's my life ALL THE TIME. I can't describe in a way that people understand the intensity of this child. I just can't. You have to live it, and it's not easy. It's not.
There are days when I want to throw my hands in the air and say, "I just can't do this." There are moments when I know that I will fail him. I'm constantly struggling to figure out how to raise him. And so doing this provided me with the knowledge that I am not crazy. I was right. The kid is wicked smart and the kid is high-energy, active needs. He really doesn't shut down. He really doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of us. He really is normal for who Ethan is. There's nothing wrong with him. He just doesn't fit into the confines of a "normal child," but he is quite normal.
While he's still, and will continue to be, quite the challenge, I find myself relieved because now I know for sure what's going on and now I have access to resources that can help us raise him and help him grow. We can support his needs better and ensure that he has the opportunities he needs to express his energy and his uniqueness and his unending drive.
You see, Ethan may be a challenge, but Ethan is so much more than that. He's enigmatic. He's inspiring. He's full of life and energy and most people are enthralled by him. People are drawn to him. He magnetizing. He's sweet, he's loving, he's all these millions of wonderful things and he's--most of the time--a pleasure to be around. He's FUN. And I adore this child. I truly adore him. And conversation with are GREAT. And I want to make sure that he doesn't lose who he is through the system. Because the system---let's be honest---likes conformity. And I do not want him to conform at the detriment of who he is. Period.
Ethan scored high. He scored gifted. We're not telling him that. And we didn't tell him we were testing his IQ. We didn't tell him it was a test at all. He doesn't need to know. He'll figure it all out on his own, I'm sure. But for now, nothing changes for him....sort of.
We are going to go through about five behavioral sessions because he needs to learn a few things. Such as following directions instead telling you what the directions SHOULD be. Learning that sometimes even if he knows something, others may want to see it. He tends to tell people he already knows how to do it, so he doesn't have to. This is called arrogance and is common. He needs to learn how to be more empathetic. And also how to direct his energies. And Mom and Dad need to learn ways of helping him acquire these skills. We need to learn discipline techniques that might help us.
We also have to change a few other things. Instead of an 8:00 p.m. bedtime, we're moving to 9:00 p.m. bedtime. We're looking into Tae Kwon Do, which is good for kids like Ethan because it teaches teamwork, self-discipline, and structure. We will be instituting a new token system that will hopefully help him learn a little discipline at home as well.
He is a very bright, very energetic, very GREAT kid. He just needs more structure. And the way I see it, we need help, too. Why? Because you don't raise kids with developmental struggles the same way you raise average children. So you don't raise gifted kids the same way you raise average children either.
I am excited and nervous about this journey with my oldest. I am excited to watch him grow and to see his brain work. He's an amazing child. I'm nervous that I won't be able to advocate strongly enough for him. That I won't be able to aid in his growth. That I'll miss the opportunity to ensure his needs are met. I want him to be a well-rounded child, teen, and adult. I want my expectations to be realistic. He's smart, but he's still four. He's still a kid and he still needs to play like a kid and act like a kid and be a kid. And I have to foster that as well. And so I'll leave with two "Ethanisms" that show his age:
- Last week, I told Ethan, "Get dressed, I have a treat with your name on it. I'll give it to you when you get dressed and get in the car." He did, so I gave him a Snickers. As I was carrying Dylan to the car, I noticed Ethan looking at his Snickers, turning it around and around. So I asked, "What are you doing?" His response?
"I don't see my name on it anywhere." - I told Ethan to drink his Elderberry Juice. "Why?" he asks. So I explain that it will keep him healthy and that it has antioxidants in it.
He asks, "Will it give me super powers?" Umm...sort of. It will help your body fight off infections.
To which he responds, "Oh, it'll give my white blood cells super powers so I'll be a super hero!"
Of course it will!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
The Six Month Check Up and Random Bits
Dylan had his 6-month check up yesterday. And so here is how it went.
The crazy rash spreading over his body? Baby Eczema. Vaseline apparently works on that.
Weight: 13.05 lbs. Yep. He's a little guy. He dipped down to just under the 5%. She wants to see him in a month to check his weight again. She's not overly concerned....it's not that far off. And she knows I'm starting formula (a little).
Best comment of the visit? "You feed your child better than anybody I know!" You bet your ass I do. Thank you very much. :) And I'm considering MAKING my own formula for the little one. Why? Because it doesn't pretend to be organic and still have words I couldn't pronounce if you held a gun to my head.
He's healthy, happy, right on target. And he got one shot. Prevnar. Didn't cry and so far hasn't even ran a fever. I'm not letting that breath go until at least this weekend, though. It could be a delayed reaction.
Random TidBits
The crazy rash spreading over his body? Baby Eczema. Vaseline apparently works on that.
Weight: 13.05 lbs. Yep. He's a little guy. He dipped down to just under the 5%. She wants to see him in a month to check his weight again. She's not overly concerned....it's not that far off. And she knows I'm starting formula (a little).
Best comment of the visit? "You feed your child better than anybody I know!" You bet your ass I do. Thank you very much. :) And I'm considering MAKING my own formula for the little one. Why? Because it doesn't pretend to be organic and still have words I couldn't pronounce if you held a gun to my head.
He's healthy, happy, right on target. And he got one shot. Prevnar. Didn't cry and so far hasn't even ran a fever. I'm not letting that breath go until at least this weekend, though. It could be a delayed reaction.
Random TidBits
- In my last post, I said I was sneaking E some BMilk. I'm not gonna do that anymore. Nope. Instead, I'm going to pick up some Elderberry Concentrate today. Everyone (except Dylz) will get at least 1 tsp a day. Maybe a bit more when ill. Operation healthy family shall commence
- Wish I would've thought about it sooner. Dylz and I have been fighting off a nasty little cold. I'm feeling better today, but it's been rough, I won't lie.
- My Saturday is going to be jam-packed. My little town is having their XMas parade...I know it's before Thanksgiving. So we have breakfast with Santa, parade, chili cook-off...etc. I also have playgroup at 2. And dinner with a friend that evening. Should be a fun day!
- Sunday, I'm relaxing!
- Ethan doesn't go to sleep until like 10. It's annoying and an every night occurrence.
- We find out how his test went tomorrow. I'm excited and nervous!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Enter Breastmilk
The NCBI (just think government research), "In humans, milk excreted antibodies play a major role in protecting
infants from infection by pathogens having a mucosal portal of entry." Another study says, "the most abundant type is IgA, specifically the form known as secretory IgA, which is found in great amounts throughout the gut and respiratory system of adults. These antibodies consist of two joined IgA molecules and a so-called secretory component that seems to shield the antibody molecules from being degraded by the gastric acid and digestive enzymes in the stomach and intestines. Infants who are bottle-fed have few means for battling ingested pathogens until they begin making secretory IgA on their own, often several weeks or even months after birth."
I know, I know, that's a bunch of science speak. It's science speak for Mother's Milk ROCKS.
This awesome liquid keeps that baby's gut healthy and fights off any intruders that may come to play. Not only that, but it lines the mucus passage ways, making it much more difficult for something like PC or HIB to get through to the lungs. It doesn't mean a baby can't get sick, but it does mean that a baby's symptoms may be much, much less severe.
Here's an example. The first year of Ethan's life, he was running a low-grade fever and had a few bouts of diarrhea. He was in good spirits and flew right through it without skipping a beat. That very night, I began puking my guts up for hours. It was TERRIBLE. And Clint followed. So why did Ethan do so well and not even cast up the contents of his belly, which was on solids by that point? I think it's because I was breastfeeding. As soon as he started feeling ill, I had already been exposed and I was already passing on very useful antibodies into his system. Too bad I had no antibodies to consume!
So moving on....
As we move into the winter months, I begin to worry about germs and illness, especially since the both go to two different places and I'm in a classroom (aka petri dish).
I know that Dylan will continue to receive useful antibodies that will keep him as healthy as possible. But what about Ethan? A recent talk with a lactation consultant gave me the answer.....
I should warn you that you may or may not have very strong feelings about what I'm about to admit. I make no apologies.
I'm sure that someday when Ethan reads this, he may very well throw up on the spot. However, I think it's rather ingenious and I certainly hope it works.
I'm going to sneak a few ounces of breast milk to my oldest throughout winter. Yep. Put a few ounces in his cereal or mix it with a glass of milk. He won't know the difference. I know it sounds strange and gross and weird, but if it works, who cares? As others have said, why is it okay to feed our children milk meant for another animal but not our own? Does that make sense? No. It doesn't.
No, I'm not going to breast feed my four year old. For one, I couldn't do it. For two, he wouldn't do it. But sneaking him a shot or two of antibodies a day certainly can't hurt in the health department.
I know, I know, that's a bunch of science speak. It's science speak for Mother's Milk ROCKS.
This awesome liquid keeps that baby's gut healthy and fights off any intruders that may come to play. Not only that, but it lines the mucus passage ways, making it much more difficult for something like PC or HIB to get through to the lungs. It doesn't mean a baby can't get sick, but it does mean that a baby's symptoms may be much, much less severe.
Here's an example. The first year of Ethan's life, he was running a low-grade fever and had a few bouts of diarrhea. He was in good spirits and flew right through it without skipping a beat. That very night, I began puking my guts up for hours. It was TERRIBLE. And Clint followed. So why did Ethan do so well and not even cast up the contents of his belly, which was on solids by that point? I think it's because I was breastfeeding. As soon as he started feeling ill, I had already been exposed and I was already passing on very useful antibodies into his system. Too bad I had no antibodies to consume!
So moving on....
As we move into the winter months, I begin to worry about germs and illness, especially since the both go to two different places and I'm in a classroom (aka petri dish).
I know that Dylan will continue to receive useful antibodies that will keep him as healthy as possible. But what about Ethan? A recent talk with a lactation consultant gave me the answer.....
I should warn you that you may or may not have very strong feelings about what I'm about to admit. I make no apologies.
I'm sure that someday when Ethan reads this, he may very well throw up on the spot. However, I think it's rather ingenious and I certainly hope it works.
I'm going to sneak a few ounces of breast milk to my oldest throughout winter. Yep. Put a few ounces in his cereal or mix it with a glass of milk. He won't know the difference. I know it sounds strange and gross and weird, but if it works, who cares? As others have said, why is it okay to feed our children milk meant for another animal but not our own? Does that make sense? No. It doesn't.
No, I'm not going to breast feed my four year old. For one, I couldn't do it. For two, he wouldn't do it. But sneaking him a shot or two of antibodies a day certainly can't hurt in the health department.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
The Vaccine Debate
Dylan will go to his 6 month well-baby visit tomorrow. While I'm excited to find out the weight, growth, and general well-being of my little guy, I'm also dreading the whole vaccine business. I always got Ethan's shots at the Health Department, so these "well" visits were much more relaxed.
It's so funny to see how much I've changed over the past four years. With Ethan, I definitely cried when I had to supplement him with formula, but I didn't go crazy researching which formula to get. I trusted a generic brand of Enfamil Lipil and never looked back.
With Dylan, I have researched until I'm blue in the face only to find that there is only one truly organic formula on the market, and it's for Toddlers. Even Earth's Best Organic has added ARA and DHA that is extracted using the chemical Hexane. And if you look at the ingredient list, one has to wonder where all those chemicals come from.
I haven't varied much with vaccines. I will admit that with Ethan, I did research the mess out of them. And ultimately, I decided he would get NO vaccines at two months and that I would get them as I saw fit. It worked out just fine. That kid never even ran a fever. But true to form, I have taken things much further with baby #2. Why?
It's not because I didn't care enough with baby #1. Far from it. I just knew less. I had SO much to learn about being a mom that I was on information overload. This time, I'm not concerned with the little things like figuring out how to get rid of cradle cap. I'm concerned with what I scratched the surface of with Ethan. Those big-ticket items.
Enter Vaccines.
I just finished The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears. This is not an anti-vaccine book. Quite the opposite. He provides very detailed information about why vaccines are positive. But he also provides very detailed, very real information about why they are given, when they are given, which ones have the strongest side-effect profiles, what ingredients are in them, and what ingredients may cause the problems. He never says, "Don't get this one," or "You MUST get this one." And he says that if you're going to breastfeed for at least two years and your child will not go to childcare, they probably don't need them. But obviously, that's not my case. So here's what I took from the book:
And so here's where I currently stand. If I could, I would say, no way in hell are you sticking my child." That's what I want to say. But I can't because I do believe in the positive aspects they've had. Do I think there are too many and that we load our kids up with chemicals they don't need. You bet your ass I do and it disgusts me.
So far, Dylan has had the Rotavirus series and the DTaP. Tomorrow, he'll get the Prevnar and just the Prevnar. Mommy will be a wreck all damn day and night, but at least I'll know that his little body is only working on one foreign object rather than the recommended FIVE shots they want to give him. And since DTaP and Prevnar protect against two things I know he'll encounter, I will feel a little more at ease. Were I a stay-at-home mom that planned to breastfeed for two years, I wouldn't get those either. But I'm not, and he has an older brother that will brings tons home too. Although, I'm trying to minimize that risk as well, but that's for another day. :)
It's so funny to see how much I've changed over the past four years. With Ethan, I definitely cried when I had to supplement him with formula, but I didn't go crazy researching which formula to get. I trusted a generic brand of Enfamil Lipil and never looked back.
With Dylan, I have researched until I'm blue in the face only to find that there is only one truly organic formula on the market, and it's for Toddlers. Even Earth's Best Organic has added ARA and DHA that is extracted using the chemical Hexane. And if you look at the ingredient list, one has to wonder where all those chemicals come from.
I haven't varied much with vaccines. I will admit that with Ethan, I did research the mess out of them. And ultimately, I decided he would get NO vaccines at two months and that I would get them as I saw fit. It worked out just fine. That kid never even ran a fever. But true to form, I have taken things much further with baby #2. Why?
It's not because I didn't care enough with baby #1. Far from it. I just knew less. I had SO much to learn about being a mom that I was on information overload. This time, I'm not concerned with the little things like figuring out how to get rid of cradle cap. I'm concerned with what I scratched the surface of with Ethan. Those big-ticket items.
Enter Vaccines.
I just finished The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears. This is not an anti-vaccine book. Quite the opposite. He provides very detailed information about why vaccines are positive. But he also provides very detailed, very real information about why they are given, when they are given, which ones have the strongest side-effect profiles, what ingredients are in them, and what ingredients may cause the problems. He never says, "Don't get this one," or "You MUST get this one." And he says that if you're going to breastfeed for at least two years and your child will not go to childcare, they probably don't need them. But obviously, that's not my case. So here's what I took from the book:
- Just as I suspected when I researched the ingredient list myself, giving infants multiple shots in one day that contain aluminum builds up. While all of the studies really revolve around the effects of giving IVs to NICU babies, the general consensus is that a build-up or overexposure of aluminum is bad for baby's brain. B-R-A-I-N. So why in God's name is it okay to give babies a shot that contains 250 micrograms of the nasty stuff followed directly by another that contains 175 micrograms? That's a whopping 425 micrograms of ALUMINUM that we're sticking them with. And you could very likely end up with more....but I left the book in the car, so I can't tell you just how much.
- There are three main diseases/illnesses that are more prevalent between birth and age 2 that babies will likely encounter. 1). Pertussis. We've all heard this. Trouble is, you can't get Pertussis without also getting Diptheria and Tetanus--two they are unlikely to encounter as infants. Good news? The old scary DTP is no more because it had TOO MANY severe reactions. We now offer an acellular pertussis. Apparently safer. 2). Pneumococcal Disease. This sucker is transmitted just like the common cold. And while most all babies will encounter it---it's that common---few will turn into something serious such as pneumonia or MENINGITIS. But this is that scary Prevnar that has a pretty lengthy list of side effects. 3). HIB. Again, this sucker is spread like the cold, but it usually hangs out in the nose. If it gets in the lungs, though, well, you're in for a life-threatening treat.
- After calculating the number of shots given over a child's lifetime and looking at the risk of serious reaction, it equates to about 1 in 2600. Seriously. For each single-dose shot, it's 1 in 100,000.
- MMR has the most hefty side-effect profile, but it's unlikely that a child is going to encounter one of these and less likely that they'll die. If you hold off until their four, they'll only need ONE DOSE to meet school requirements. And the chances of a severe reaction increase with each shot given. ONE DOSE. Sign me up!
- Reasons for still getting the Polio shot, which has been eradicated in the US is simple. Safety in herds. It hasn't been eradicated all over the world. It could easily make a come back. That doesn't mean my 6-month old needs to get it RIGHT NOW because he's in contact with LOTS of international people.
- Prior to vaccines, more children than we can imagine caught and died from these illnesses. We are fortunate to live in a time when the reality of such diseases feels more like something we see in a history book rather than hear from our neighbor.
- As a parent, I have the RIGHT to decide when my child gets vaccines. Two states have created laws that make it mandatory for all kids to be vaccinated. Few allow you to say no based on philosophical reasons.
And so here's where I currently stand. If I could, I would say, no way in hell are you sticking my child." That's what I want to say. But I can't because I do believe in the positive aspects they've had. Do I think there are too many and that we load our kids up with chemicals they don't need. You bet your ass I do and it disgusts me.
So far, Dylan has had the Rotavirus series and the DTaP. Tomorrow, he'll get the Prevnar and just the Prevnar. Mommy will be a wreck all damn day and night, but at least I'll know that his little body is only working on one foreign object rather than the recommended FIVE shots they want to give him. And since DTaP and Prevnar protect against two things I know he'll encounter, I will feel a little more at ease. Were I a stay-at-home mom that planned to breastfeed for two years, I wouldn't get those either. But I'm not, and he has an older brother that will brings tons home too. Although, I'm trying to minimize that risk as well, but that's for another day. :)
Monday, November 12, 2012
Because he's his own guy...
My oldest is quite a character. Ethan is a very high energy child that beats to the sound of his own drum. He's opinionated, bull-headed, strong, loving, and sweet. And he's so independent.
He's full of life and a trip to be around. His mind works in ways I can't fathom and he's always willing to talk your ear off about something. He adores his brother and acts like the loving big brother that he is.
He's my challenging four year old with a zest for life and an obession with cardiac and pulmonary functions. His interest in EVERYTHING keeps me on my toes and there are days when it takes everything I have to keep up with him.
I wouldn't trade this child for the world. He is my love. He is my bug. And when I check on him at night before I go to bed, I smile with the knowledge that for now, he's mine. All. Mine.
His name is Ethan. A Super Hero one second and a serious scientist the next. There's never a dull moment with him around! And I love this guy so much it makes my heart hurt.
He's full of life and a trip to be around. His mind works in ways I can't fathom and he's always willing to talk your ear off about something. He adores his brother and acts like the loving big brother that he is.
He's my challenging four year old with a zest for life and an obession with cardiac and pulmonary functions. His interest in EVERYTHING keeps me on my toes and there are days when it takes everything I have to keep up with him.
I wouldn't trade this child for the world. He is my love. He is my bug. And when I check on him at night before I go to bed, I smile with the knowledge that for now, he's mine. All. Mine.
His name is Ethan. A Super Hero one second and a serious scientist the next. There's never a dull moment with him around! And I love this guy so much it makes my heart hurt.
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