I don't know. Maybe it was last week. Maybe it was two weeks ago. Maybe I could look it up and know for sure. But maybe I'm too damn tired to even type this post. But remember when I said and explained why I would not do CIO again? Yeah. I also remember learning an important parenting lesson the first night Ethan came home. Parenting requires flexibility. And what you think you know and what you think you'll do can change on a dime.
That dime has turned. After SEVERAL nights of no sleep and VERY frequent---as in every 1.5 to 2 hours---night waking in which Dylan simply latches on and falls asleep but requires me to keep him like that for at least ten minutes BEFORE I lay him back down only to repeat in 1.5 hours, I have had it. I'm at my wits end. I'm yelling at him. Saying things like, "This is unacceptable." or "That's it. You need to go to sleep!" or "I have had enough!" None of this helps. And neither does snapping at my four year old that has issues of his own. And never mind how I'm treating my husband.
Life in the Craft home is not all dandelions and daisies right now. I'm a bear when I don't get enough sleep. And by enough, I mean at least ONE four hour stretch. I can handle getting up at night to feed my baby. I don't want to end night time feedings out of sheer convenience. What I do want to end is the night time "snuggle me back to sleep" wakings that serve no purpose other than to make us all very tired, very cranky, and very ineffective.
Oh, and then there's the whole...."I have to work like this?" thing. I mean, I can walk into my room five times in the morning before I'll finally remember that I'm looking for my shoes. My brain function is not even close to optimal. It's not functioning. I probably shouldn't even drive in this state of exhaustion. It's becoming a hazard, and that's why CIO has to take place.
It'll have to wait until Sunday. MIL is coming Friday and we have a concert Saturday. We need consistency and stability to pull this off. The sucky thing? We won't have to do it when he goes to bed. It'll be middle of the night stuff. Ugh. I won't be able to leave like I did with Ethan.
Wish me luck.